1. |
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We speak and dream of love as if we were illusionists. Dellusionists. (Some paths are chosen to get lost on.) And the map we draw is that of the imperfectionist. Never missed, but always missed. And how I wish we never kissed. For the world I feel you can not see. Oh what wretches like you do to men like me. And the mass spoke: “It will pass in the after days, scattering your hearts in the haze”. (I really thought I could mean something when you too were afraid.) Lost lie, kept truth. Uneven. Unjudgable. Open those eyes on your back for the night brings beggars and thieves. The night brings beggars and thieves. The night brings beggars.
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2. |
Citadel/Sinking Ship
04:34
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We tried orchestrating ourselves in what we were supposed to be.
But was I the dissonant note in your perfect symphony?
Once lovers entwined like vines, buried safe inside woods.
Now two piles of broken branches, stacked to burn, misunderstood.
And I reside here with my fears and my sorrow well rehearsed.
So my orchestration continues, but my songs remain unheard.
If we ever would collide again, I’ll recite them in my mind.
And as your trembling gaze reaches the floor, maybe some vowels it might find.
Now no light shines between my sheets. Only nightmares hide underneath.
I’ve spent my thinking time between the empty room and the aftermath. What was wrecked could never be, better than what we had, Forever.
We tried orchestrating ourselves in what we were supposed to be.
But was I the dissonant note in your perfect symphony?
Once lovers entwined like vines, buried safe inside woods.
Now two piles of broken branches, stacked to burn, misunderstood.
And I reside here with my fears and my sorrow well rehearsed.
So my orchestration will continue, but my songs remain unheard.
If we ever would collide again I’ll recite them in my mind.
And as your trembling gaze reaches the floor, maybe some vowels it might find.
I can make amends with goodbyes but not like this. Please not like this. Have you forgotten everything I thought I taught you? Everything I tried to teach. Be aware of ghosts in shapeless garments; heed your feelings from their kiss. All they’re out for is another heartache. All their words are hit and miss. All your words are hit and miss. All my words are hit and miss.
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3. |
The One Eyed King
04:11
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You've balanced your head on a hole in time.
I chose ascension in the carnival of the vile.
All their heads are bowed in awe as they left us in the shade.
With a million voices the paradoxal promise made.
I am the one eyed king in the land of the blind.
And I won't go gently into that cold night.
"It's a close call but we made it", the captains sang from their sinking ships.
To the ocean floor they're fading and we're going along with it.
Why do they try to reach the surface when they refuse to breathe.
You've balanced your head on a hole in time.
I chose ascension in the carnival of the vile.
All their heads are bowed in awe as they left us in the shade.
With their million voices a paradoxal promise made
I am the one eyed king in the land of the blind.
And i won't go gently into that cold night.
It's a constant struggle, between the path that we choose and that which is layed out before us.
We maintain our story, written on a torn tapestry but still our history. Know it's ours to fix and it will take hours to fix and some of us will remain broken in the process.
I preach to you this truth but the fact is that i can't explain it, I can't deal with or handle it and i can not, cope.
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4. |
An Indiscretion
05:13
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And that is how it began and it ends with folded hands, begging.
Their eyes, they've listened everywhere but there was nothing left to see or hear.
And with his forked tongue between her teeth, he told her to shut up and make her peace.
Oh please here we're fine, where deception is the leverage to create a hole in space and time.
Hands down it's the worst i have seen. Hands down it's the worst i have seen.
With an open mouth he lured you into his sea.
In an undisclosed moment i hesitate. Should i blind the sun or disintegrate?
With every consequence there is a consequence led by a confluence of influence.
There on that weary hill where i spoke in tongues, even though my mouth stood still.
And that's how it felt when my jaw clenched and i was forced to face myself.
In fact i did connect, i've woven weary threads that tangled their mistakes.
Now i'm forced to release them both and even you, or so it seems.
While wandering between the scrapyards of our lives i promised you i'd make the rain fall.
And is closure what i need? Or just more tears between my teeth?
With every consequence there is a consequence led by a confluence of influence.
Please stop me from saving myself.
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5. |
The Mending
03:22
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Lover, to you i speak as a victim of internal war. We can not go back to the us, to the us we were before. We're hanging on. But breathe love through iron lungs. We were hanging on, but where I leapt and stood, you fell.
Every ending ends with the book closing. The film stopping. A heart skipping and reclaiming it's beat.
So please take away your tears and carry them through the streets. Let the world comfort your sorrow and trade liquor for your blood. Tell your friends all those stories of how we could not survive the flood. We were a struggle at best, but we didn't pass the test. And every letter ever written will hit the catacombs underneath my desk.
Every ending ends with the book closing. The film stopping. A heart skipping and reclaiming it's beat.
I tried to come clean, so you could see what you mean to me, but no words you could accept for me. With every action there is a reaction therefore arguing is irrelevant. No good will come from this. No broken heart can be mended with just a kiss. For your pain I offer my sincerest apologies. But have you ever known what wretches like you do to men like me?
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6. |
After-Math
04:06
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All alone as night creeps in violently. Should i close my bedroom window as if it doesn't frighten me.
For years the words have been pushing back against my teeth. I wish i could release them but i'm too terrified to speak. After a while it all becomes so vague and average, so no one remembers to see, what a so called man like you did to a boy like me.
And i'll remind myself to forget your grave. But does this make me brave? Or just more afraid?
All alone as night creeps in violently. Should I close my bedroom window as if it doesn't frighten me? I'll puzzle the parts as they tear me apart. I act to cope but not from the heart.
For years the words have been pushing back against my teeth. I wish i could release them but i'm too terrified to speak. After a while it all became so vague and average, so no one remembers to see, what a so called man like you did to a boy like me.
You shaped our shapelessness. Casting away all family ties. Fleeing from yourself, my mother and i. No more Friday nights. No more you and i.
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